Tangent

From http://spacecollective.org/

It pains to live like this - you, hovering like a ghost, like a memory that never goes away. It was easy for you to cut me off, so maybe I should also do the same. We were once together, but now where nothing but complete strangers.

You think I don't notice how cold you've become? How ironic that you say we can stay friends but as usual I'm the only one making any efforts. How do you make it seem that nothing never really happened between us, that for a time, I mattered? Or maybe me being of some importance to you is nothing but a twisted delusion of mine.

I guess you knew you were my kryptonite. The only thing that could make me weak and beg for mercy. And you probably liked the idea that you had that power over me, never missing the moment to use it when the opportunity arises. And yet, still, I was like a moth to a flame, fluttering nearby even if a single touch could mean my death.

How many days have I gone through wondering what really was going through your head? If you have, ever since that moment, even thought about me - how I've been, how I fare? Have you even asked people if I was eating well, or if something was bothering me? I already know the answers to those questions, but still.... still I hope and pray that in the remotest area of your heart I still live.

I am angry at you. But I am even more angry with myself. Because even though you've taken me for granted, even though you made me feel less and less of myself, I never, not even once, hated you. In as much as every fiber of my being is shouting, crying, begging for me to hate you, I just can't. And I hate myself for it.

Maybe it was meant to be this way - you and me. We are like tangent lines - destined to meet only once and never again. Is it a good thing? A bad thing? I don't know. I have no idea how things will eventually play out. But I know that life must still go on, that I must still go through life with my head held high - with or without you by my side.