Wedding Vows

After watching Toni G. and Direk Paul's wedding last Saturday, I was inspired to create my own "imaginary wedding vows".

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For longest time I have resigned to the fact that I would be single forever, or as most people would like to call it, "Single Blessedness." Who would, in fact, have the courage, and audacity to be with someone as flawed, as imperfect, as broken, as insecure like me? But there you were, willing to take on the challenge, in spite of and despite of everything.

Who would have thought that I would get to this place? I, for one, certainly did not. Never, NEVER in my wildest dreams, that I would stand in front of the altar with you.

When your fuel runs out

Sometimes, you try to be strong, not for anyone, but yourself. And when the fuel runs out, it's what's most scary. Because then you realize that there's nothing to be strong about, that there's nothing but false hopes, false pretenses, and you've only been denying to yourself one of the few things that is constant in this life - and that at one point or another, each and every one of us would die.

Shattered, Broken beyond repair

From http://quotlr.com/

Who would want to be with someone like me? Like a discarded piece of trash, like a broken China doll? Sure it may look like I'm all pretty and all made up outside, that when you talk to me there is nothing wrong, but when you find out about the deepest secrets that lurk in the corners of my dark, deranged self, no one would be able to stomach the horrors that live in them.

"I love you." Who knew that those three, simple words would be so difficult portray? Much more even say?

But, alas, I couldn't. I shouldn't. It's suicide.

Depression

From http://drhurd.com

I've been feeling down and about the past few days and I have no idea why.

For most people, there's really not much for me to be sad about. I mean, I'm relatively in a better position than most people my age. I have my own place, I own properties, I owned (for a time) a car, I work out regularly, and I get to travel leisurely in neighboring countries. Even my job isn't as bad as most people would have it.

But still, I get the feeling that I'm depressed. Nothing seems to excite me anymore.

Tonya

New year, new phase, new life! At para simulan ang bagong taon, dapat magpalit din ako ng pangalan.

"Tonya!"

Napatigil ako sa paglalakad nang marinig ko ang pangalan ko. Anak ng butanding. Sino na naman kayang hampaslupa ang tumatawag sakin sa ganung pangalan? Ang aga-aga nambubuwisit. Mukhang sa boses si Tet yun, so malamang anak nga ng butanding. Mabuti pa'y hindi ko na lang papansinin at itutuloy ko na lang ang paglalakad.